Bombs Away...Way Away...

....and now for something completely off the topic of pubs...Lilly (my better half) had a very unique experience that should be shared. I thank her for allowing me to use her well written story on Augblog.

I introduce you now to Lilly, the Sweet Innocent Terrorist from Oshawa.....


Monday, May 02, 2005

Bombs Away!!

It all started innocently enough....I had bought a house that happened to have two woodburning stoves. One for heat located in the garage/workshop, and one solid cast iron behemouth cookstove in the basement.

Under no circumstances would my house insurance cover me unless they were both removed, immediately - if not sooner.

Luckily, my friend Sheila's husband Mike is a hunter who was more than happy to take them off my hands for use up north.

Mike and two of his friends arrived and set to work. The smaller woodstove came out quickly but with a suprise......Hidden behind it was a two foot long M84 missile!!!!

I could just imagine my insurance agent's face when I told her that I had managed to get rid of the woodstoves, but now had a bomb!! And she thought an oil furnace was bad enough!

I have to admit I was at a loss with regards as what to do with it. On one hand, I reasoned, it had been stuffed behind that woodstove for god knows how many years without going off. This led me to believe that it wasn't about to suddenly explode, sending me and my friends to kingdom come - Welcome To Oshawa!

On the other hand it's not really the sort of thing you can just toss into the recycling bin either. It felt heavy, not hollow and had a "sloshing" sound when moved about. Obviously someone had to be informed, I just wasn't sure about who or when.

Hoping to avoid a potentially "explosive" situation I placed it under the porch while the gentlemen finished moving the other much bigger and heavier woodstove from the basement. This was a major time consuming endeavour.

By the time this was finished I was tired, dirty and expecting the old hound for dinner. It was getting late and I decided to put off calling anyone about it that evening, but didn't feel comfortable leaving it outside. I instead did misslill's version of the logical thing and brought it into the kitchen.

I wasn't sure if any neighbourhood kids had seen us waving it about earlier and felt that if it was going to go boom it wouldn't make much difference where it was, judging by the size of it!!

The old hound arrived for dinner and handled the news that we were dining in the presence of high explosives with his usual good humour and aplomb. He took my photo with it so I could have a keepsake of my latest "adventure".

The next morning I bit the bullet (pardon the pun!) and called the non emergency number for the Durham Region Police. I explained the situation to the operator who transferred me to communications where I repeated my sorry tale. They asked me the size, shape, etc and informed me that a policeman would be over shortly to deal with the situation.

A very polite and absolutely enormous young man in uniform soon arrived on my doorstep. He came through to the kitchen and took a look at the offending warhead sitting on my kitchen floor.

He pointed out that it still had an intact firing pin in its base where the propeller was located and showed us another example of one on one of his bullets. This made him suspect that it was live and should not be moved. (I didn't mention the fact that I had been carrying it around a fair bit the day before!!) He reassured us that it wouldn't just "blow up" while it was sitting there, that it would have to be struck from behind in order to detonate.

The officer then told us that the bomb squad (!!) would be called and would remove the bomb. Until they arrived however, the police would have to remain on the premises.           

Now I had already been concerned about calling the police and having them parked in my driveway for (what I felt was) an inordinate amount of time. Having just moved into the neighbourhood I was only too aware of what the neighbours would probably think.......Criminals!!

With the bomb squad landing on my doorstep it would be even worse.....Terrorists!!

Not long after the bomb squad arrived and examined the torpedo shaped object, gingerly prodding it and eventually picking it up. Apparantly there had been alot of munitions factories and training grounds for soldiers during the war in this area and bombs like this had been dug up before. He surmised that a previous owner of the house had found this one and not being the concerned citizen that I am (I said that, not him  ) had just stashed it away, only to be discovered years and years later. He felt it was in remarkably good shape despite the exposure to extreme heat from the woodstove. It would be "seized" and the military would destroy it. (Really, they didn't have to seize it, they were welcome to the damn thing!)

They did a search of the basement and garage/shed area and said if I were to come across anything else during my renovations to not touch it and to give them a call. I assured them that I would.

So now  my house is woodstove free and (hopefully) bomb free....I can only wonder What's Next for misslill??

 some info on "my" bomb: note the part at the end about dropping on it's fin end. Thank goodness I didn't have an "oops" moment and drop the damn thing!!

DESCRIPTION
Each cartridge has fins around the tail to stabilize it in flight and to cause it to strike fuze-end first. The propelling charge consists of an ignition cartridge and removable propellant increments. The ignition cartridge (with primer) is fitted into the base of the fin shaft. The removable increments are fitted onto or around the shaft, depending on their type.


• The cartridge is dropped down the barrel, fin-end first.


• The ignition cartridge strikes the firing pin and detonates, which causes a flash that passes through the radial holes in the shaft.


• The propellant increments are ignited, which produce rapidly expanding gases that force the cartridge from the barrel.


• The obturating ring ensures equal muzzle velocities in hot or cold barrels by keeping all the gases in the barrel until the cartridge has fired.


• When fired, the cartridge carries the ignition cartridge with it, leaving the mortar ready for the next cartridge.
The floating firing pin located within the primer has approximately 1/16 of an inch to move around. This may cause the firing pin to ignite the charges if the cartridge is dropped on the fin end.